Hey Parents! Did you get exhausted when your child throws a Temper Tantrum?
Let me share with you a real situation where I got exhausted when similar things happened to me.
In March 2021, it was Sunday, when I went grocery shopping with my 3yrs old son, an act of his mischievousness put me in trouble to handle the situation.
Once, we both were into the store. Suddenly, he rushed to a toy corner and started collecting the toys he liked, and put them into the cart.
When I stopped him from doing so, I saw teardrops coming out and then I heard a scream that’s getting louder and louder and became irresistible to control.
I felt so embarrassed that people around me were watching his temper tantrums and wondered by shaking their heads towards me.
I picked him up immediately and left the shopping undone and came out of the store.
But this is not the end.
I came back home and kept on thinking of that situation. Some questions were knocking continuously in my mind like:
- What happened to my child’s frightening metamorphosis?
- What led him to behave in such a way?
- Would this happen everytime when I go into the store?
I looked for my answers. I did a lot of research and consulted experts in this field.
Parents, if you are into the same sailing boat where I was before 7 months, then this article is for you.
Believe me, the strategies that are described here, are proven in real-life situations.
Not only me. These strategies help 24 more parents like me to get rid of their child’s temper tantrums and be able to build a strong relationship with their little ones.
Before going into the controlling part, let’s know
Temper Tantrums meaning:
Temper Tantrums in a kid is one of the commonest problems that we as a parent have to tackle daily. Temper Tantrums are unpleasant emotional outbursts by children who are unable to control their anger.
Unfortunately, temper tantrums usually start because the children have noticed sometimes that somebody whom they are close to is doing the same thing and getting away with it. It is more of an upbringing issue than an actual problem in a kid. A child’s behavior is a mirror reflection of his or her parent’s behavior. The children are clay and can be structured in any form. The more we hit, scream or argue in front of the children, the immediately they will pick that up.
Temper Tantrums Age:
Temper tantrums usually start in the first year of the life of a child. And if it is allowed to fester then it becomes worse in the second and third years of the life of a child. Mostly the children like to be in control of themselves. But if you let go of that control then it becomes worse and worse.
Temper Tantrums In Toddler:
- Throwing things about
- Sometimes the children might have even spit at someone
- Bangs head against the wall
- Holding the Breath and turning blue and lying on the floor
- Sometimes a sort of a fake convulsion that is tightening of the limbs and the hands.
These are all ranges of severities starting from crying to breath-holding.
Causes Of Temper Tantrums:
The root cause is only one, it is their need for attention.
- The child shows temper tantrums to gain attention from the parents or from some other persons in the environment. And when the attention is denied to them, they start getting wilder and wilder gradually with time.
Very often you might have seen this when there is a party at home, parents are busy with the guests and nobody is paying attention to the child. Even though the child comes to ask his parents about something and then the child gets pushed away. So, this kind of ignorance leads the child to show temper tantrums.
2. The child is to obtain something that they would have a hard time obtaining without showing the tantrum like a treat or a preferred toy.
3. It might be because sometimes the child is not well, hungry, or tired.
Your response to a tantrum is what decides how the tantrum is going to progress and whether it is going to get worse with time.
How To Deal With Temper Tantrums:
- The children should be told where to stop to show their temper tantrums.
- There has to be consistent behavior by everybody in the family.
- The parents have to set an example so that the child can imitate the same.
- Like if you remain calm in all situations and not shouting then
your child starts to follow you.
- If your child takes away anything that you want to give back. It is better if you give something in exchange for taking off that thing and keeping it in its right place without snatching it from your child.
- It is generally the grandparents who tend to spoil the children rotten. They overruled the parents.
- If it is the same scenario for you too, then literally you have to tell your parents that they have done their jobs bringing you up.Now, it’s your turn to bring your children up.
And also you have to tell your parents that you don’t need their help to spoil your child. If your children need to spoil, let them do it by themselves not by your parents. You ask them to help you in bringing your children up properly. So, please ask them to help you regarding this. Initially, they don’t like your comment but they fall in line subsequently.
And trust me, when your children grow up, they will be the first ones to point out that it would be so nice to talk to your children because they are so approachable.
Temper Tantrums Treatment At Home:
Ignore the child when they throw tantrums. A toddler throws a tantrum because he wants attention.
You responding to the tantrum in the form of screaming, shouting, hitting, arguing, negotiating is indirectly giving attention to the child. His need is fulfilled. He knows if he does these things, everybody leaves what they are doing and gives him attention.
So, the thumb rule is when a tantrum goes out of control, you need to put the paddle on the metal and stop responding to the tantrum. Everybody in the family starts pretending that the child doesn’t exist.
On the first day, the child will throw this tantrum for 2 hours and stop.
The second day, one hour and stop.
By the third or fourth day, the child realizes that all these efforts are absolutely useless because the child is getting zero attention.
Gradually they will self-soothe, find this effort as a complete waste of time, and stop doing it.
Change yourself and the child will automatically change itself.
One specific point to be emphasized and is breath-holding. It’s very scary. The child becomes tight and lies on the floor. Sometimes they turn blue without breathing.
Calm yourself down. Do not panic. And do not rush to your child too fast. Don’t pick up the child, pat the child, get the air out.
Stay calm, sprinkle water on the face, and make the child cry.
Two to three times if you do this, the fourth time the child won’t turn blue and won’t have a breath-holding span.
And lastly, all the temper tantrums outside the house socially in the mall, in the movie are a mirror image of his behavior at home.
Change the behavior at home and automatically all temper tantrums stop in school, in malls, and in all social gatherings.
Hope this information will help you in dealing with your child’s temper tantrum effectively. Keep following me and of course, share your views about this article.